You found your dream man, but something is wrong? Maybe he is not your dream man – but only what you see in him …
When we are freshly in love, it is quite normal for us to see the chosen one differently than he really is: Our hormones, when in love , make us forget his positive qualities and hide things that bother us.
But at the latest after about a year, when the tingling in the abdomen subsides, the pink glasses should lose their effect – and we pass at best to love the person as he is, including all his faults and weaknesses.
Unfortunately, if this case does not happen, there are (at least) two typical ways: A) we part or B) we continue to idealize the other and talk to love him while in truth we depend on him only on our wishful thinking , The latter usually leads to the fact that our heart is really broken , and the more violent, the later the knowledge overtakes us.
So to help the insight as early as possible: Here are five typical signs that can be clues that you only love an idea of him – but not him.
1. Without words you understand yourself best.
You like to spend time with him in silence – because you know exactly, he understands you even without words! Plus, when you talk, it’s just misunderstandings anyway. Hmm, yes no, it’s clear. One question: When you’re chatting, does it happen that you are amazed and surprised by his views? Maybe that should make you think …
2. You no longer believe in the great love.
You used to believe that true love is something great and special. But now that you have found someone you love, you know that was a childish crush and that in truth, there is no such great love. Very reasonable. But have you ever toyed with the idea that your current love is simply not genuine and therefore does not feel so great?
3. You are not yourself in his presence.
You do not really know why, but somehow the time has not yet come to let you down with him and show him your true self. Totally understandable. But just as an idea for a possible reason: Maybe you feel that you do not really fit together, but you still do not want to let go of that perfect idea of you in a relationship. As I said: just an idea …
4. Your feelings are strongest when you do not see them.
If you are not together, you miss him so much! That must be love – even if your time together is not always quite as harmonious and cloud-7-like, as expected. Can you see that? But soberly, there is much to suggest that feelings are more fueled by your imagination than by reality.
5. You are convinced that your future will be more beautiful than the present
You just know it, in it and you have so much potential for a happy partnership for life. You only need a bit to find your way. Can be natural. But life is what happens in reality and not the sum of all possibilities and potentials. And love by the way, too …