A mother tells: “At the weekend I secretly do it”



Isabelle, 46, has a leadership job in the financial industry and two teenage children. And they would rather not know what their mother does when they leave the house …

Drugs, alcohol, party – mother secretly celebrates: woman from behind, in the spotlight
© EvGavrilov / Shutterstock
When someone asks me what I love most in life, I say “Techno and my daughters, in that order”. That’s a joke, of course. But I can not imagine a life without techno, dances, and one without my girls.

A little party never killed nobody
I used to be a wild bumblebee, always dressing up, performing, making people laugh. My father once said, “you should become a burlesque dancer.” Instead, I ended up in the financial industry. And I am also quite successful. But the people who work there! Lots of bloodless figures, for a barbecue with non-alcoholic beer is the highlight of the week. My ex-husband is also such a Mr. Perfect. He has not even hit the strings in his life.

We parted when our girls were six and nine, since then I am a single parent and so totally happy. My daughters are the cutest teenagers you can imagine. They have nice friends, are good at school and very rarely worry. Our life is beautiful, I earn well and have a great circle of friends. I do not have a boyfriend and that should stay that way. Deep down in it lives just a little philistine who does not want to present his children with patchwork daddy who may not be. They have a father whom they love and see regularly. Everything else would just mess things up.

Mom, you smell so funny

And it would also confuse my daughters if they could see me celebrating. Not that I am pretending. But there is a part of my life that only belongs to me, twice a month. There are the girls from Friday to Monday with their father and I have storm-free shack. Saturday night, my friends come, we cook, eat, drink a glass or two, smoke a joint and throw ourselves in the most outrageous clothes, sequin minis or pants, sneakers with plateau. And then we start. Mostly we go to the same two or three clubs to dance, including MDMA, Ecstasy. That’s part of it for me, and I can dose that well. Sometimes I meet someone and we have sex, but never with me. Sunday afternoon I’m back home.

One day, the girls came back from their father, surprisingly sooner, and dressed and found them sleepy on the sofa. “You smell so funny, Mama,” the little girl said. I said that I was celebrating a bit and everything is fine. It is also. Still, I do not want them to know too much about it. And not her father, the grandparents and the rest of the family. They would just worry or think that I’m not a good mother. But I am.

Drugs, Party, Sex: My little secret
Our everyday life is quite normal. Of course, there are no drugs, I do not even smoke and at most I drink a glass of wine. Life revolves around job, household, schoolwork, dental appointments, parents evenings and coffee and cake with grandma and grandpa. As in my childhood. I grew up very secure. Maybe that’s why I manage to keep the balance between normal and crazy pretty well. Because, I’m a bit crazy. That’s why I’m not a bad mother for a long time.

Actually, I would rather stick to the fact that I now and then make a point. Unfortunately, people unfortunately like to think in black and white, and an adult woman and mother who does something like that: That’s just not possible. There is a lot of hypocrisy. No one can tell me that in all the clubs, even in the many swinger clubs and erotic sheds – which I do not go for, for example, because I’m not interested in them – are not mothers and fathers. But with fathers, one is perhaps more generous anyway than with mothers. Or with women in general.

When my girls are grown up, I may tell them about my father’s weekends. No details, but that I had fun and maybe even a better and more relaxed mother than if I had always been reasonable. Of course you can also do yoga for relaxation or go to the spa. But that would be too boring for me.

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