Are you okay or do you have a schoolchild? From the misery of a school-damaged mother

But with the enrollment of their own children, the whole shit starts all over again. Anke Willers, a working mother of two girls, reports here about the misery of a school-damaged mother. This text contains a Affiliate Link .

My last day of school was in May 97 . Never again national youth games, never again class president election and the fear, perhaps only three voices to get. Never again school!

Oh, I had no idea. In September I was enrolled for the second time. I did not want that. I did not plan to go to school again. I found, school is child and teacher thing. But I became an assistant teacher …

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1859775393 Anke Willers © Bethel Fath / Private 2147483648

The more my anger and frustration increased. And what came out then most of the time, was not just mathematically foul: I freaked out. And I yelled, ” from this damn exercise book? ” “Somewhere under the bed,” the child mumbled, not suspecting anything good.

'?' I hissed back angrier. “I do not constantly buy any workbooks so they'll be pounded and dumped unused in the corner, I'm not joking, it's your math work.” And so on.

Are you still learning or shouting?

One or the other child yelled back: Fuck up four: fuck shit stupid shit

“And me:” Stop it to roar – otherwise the neighbor says tomorrow again: 'Well, your little one has a rather short fuse, which you can hear in the whole yard.' “Anke Willers: Geht's dir gut oder hast du Kinder in der Schule? But the child roared even louder: “I do not care what the neighbors think!” And it seemed like a secret joy that I lost more and more of my composure.

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The respective learning victim child stayed up and, depending on his temperament, kicked his foot against the door and threw the just described slip of paper out of the window (Ida) or howled and shouted bad words (Greta).

(*)

Sometimes I watched from my bench the neighbors with their young children, who were traveling with red sliding cars. I thought, “If you knew what was still to come.” 11657700 Most of the time, however, I conducted silent self-talk to rearrange the emotional chaos in me. I tried to give myself answers:

Anke Willers: Geht's dir gut oder hast du Kinder in der Schule?

I: <=b&&90> This learning makes me ready. Parents and children can not learn together. There are too many emotions involved. 20170907

What kind of emotions do you mean exactly?

Do not know: being offended, for example. If I sit down and explain that for the third time with the coefficient, I'm hurt. Do you understand, it's my kids, they have to get that on the second time. They can not be stupid …

<=c;c--)k=e>You are angry …

Yes, to myself. Because I can not stay calm. I am the real school failure here. 11040446 39 And of fear? 10877600 Yes, fear is there too. I am afraid that my children will not be able to compete in the global competition because they do not get good school qualifications. And when I hear from friends that their own children are doing some Einskommanochwas degrees, I sometimes imagine that these kids are later the lawyers with the great law firms or the doctors with the great practices, and my children are their hiwis and have to do what they say – of course only for a fraction of the salary. And it's my fault

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Yes, it's my fault that the children have school problems and later may have worse chances in life. I did something wrong

How did you get it?

Is it so: If it goes well in school, parents have done everything right. Then people patted you on the back and say: “Great children, properly educated!” But when it's not working out at school, it's like a blatant gossip for your upbringing efforts. You are always on the defensive. Do you know that there are now parent schools where parents learn the elementary school so they can explain it to their children? And there are books in the bookstores that are: math for parents – what you need to know to support your child …

There is a lot in the bookstores. 8388608 Yes, but such books would not be made if no one would buy. Many of us believe that if you only make enough work as a mother, it will be math and German. And if it does not, you just did something wrong. 11234788 Math work, at the same time evaluate you?

Bingo! That's exactly what they do for my feeling: They also rate how good I am as a number-radiator, rehearsal adviser and motivational speaker. In short, how good I am as a mother!

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school failures? Do not want to be a mother anymore. 0491892

But you have taken care of yourself. You promoted your children. You read to them. You went to the museum with them and explained the world to them. It really can not be that. 63167 I know mothers who feel guilty about having a caesarean section, or a premature birth, or unable to breastfeed – and now they think their children's school problems are related to it.

but also fathers, who might feel responsible for their children's school problems. Why are you looking for guilt alone with you?

Father life works. Take only the occupation: Of course, mothers should be working today. They should provide for their own pension. Career like, own income anyway! Today, paid parental leave suggests to mothers that they should return to the office one year after birth. And with the new maintenance law, one can actually not recommend any mother to rely too much on a man financially. On the one hand.

And on the other hand?

and at home there is no one who cooks balanced at lunchtime, helps with learning, regulates mobile phone consumption and ensures calmness and structure. 529 You hear that Grass grow.

No, I'm just honest. I do not like these thoughts myself. I do not always want to deal with it. I do not like being jealous. And certainly not I always want to watch the excitement. I would like to be at a party once in my life and be one of the mothers who can say in a very relaxed way: “School? Oh yes, school: Runs with us.”

Then try it. Just say casually at the next party: “School, oh yes, school …” So, and now you go up again and pull yourself together. It's not worth it to screw up the relationship with your kids because of the school. I'm not even sure if the guitars are not technically anything. One thing is certain: the mood is getting lousy. That `s not worth it. Remember, you are the big one. And your girls need you above all as a motivator. Show them that you believe in them. And that you like them as they are.

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