Finding love, getting married, having children – for many (women) the ideal of life. But according to a British behavioral scientist not sooo good …
Nothing makes you happier than sharing your life with the right person and starting a family – for many an undoubted, natural truth. Women in particular are usually assumed to have “in a partnership” the relationship status in which they feel most comfortable, their natural habitat, as it were. And once they’ve got that, children are the only logical consequence. 🤷♀️
Lucky Expert: “Unmarried women are the happiest”
The British philosopher of fortune and behavior Paul Dolan, author of the book ” Happy Ever After: Escaping The Myth of The Perfect Lifes ” and a professor at the London School of Economics and Political Science, however, fundamentally questions this alleged truth . While men tend to benefit from marriage – data surveys show that, on average, they earn more money and live longer, for example – women are more likely to lose out. In the first place, they would be restricted in their freedom, carry a higher risk of physical or mental illness, and on average die earlier, according to Dolan during a speech at the Hay Festival in Wales.
He said, ” The healthiest and happiest people are women who never got married and did not have children, so if you are a man, you should try to marry, but if you are a woman, save yourself the trouble!” The only thing childless single-women suffer most of the time is the social stigma with which they are endorsed.
Dolan: “Anyone who meets a single woman in their 40s automatically thinks, ‘The poor, really sad, or maybe one day she’ll find the right one and everything will be fine.’ But maybe she will find the wrong person and everything will be bad, maybe she will find someone who makes her unhappier and unhealthier, so she dies sooner. “
The researcher really wants to tell us that
Even if the scientist in the formulation of his admittedly blatant thesis basically even gives a very concrete piece of advice: Against the background of his research and publications, it becomes clear that people make a blanket statement about how they should live and what they have to make happy, the last is what the professor wants. Rather, Dolan’s primary concern is to provoke , shake and wake us up to following our individual path, rather than following old traditions unreflectively – or the path that is most open.
Because, according to the professor, what is socially considered a successful life – good job, prosperity, permanent residence and family – does not correlate (inevitably) with what makes us happy . For example, many people are more than happy with an average income, whereas some top earners are deeply unhappy. And: “For some people it’s great to have children, but for a lot of them that’s just not the case, and the fact that we can not talk about it openly is the problem,” says Dolan.
After all, it does not matter how much of the Brit’s provocative thesis really is. As long as we take away the fact that female, childless singles have not failed in their lives and in some cases may even be happier than mothers of three children married for 30 years, she has at least brought us closer to the truth …