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Bjoern and Christian wanted to adopt – and got a foster child. Here Bjoern tells how it came to, and how happy they are with Luke.
A child? As a gay couple we had to come up with something
If two men with a child want to start a family, it must be known to be more creative. After it did not work with my own pregnancy, asked my husband Christian, if I could imagine to take a foster child.
At that time, I denied the issue as soon as it had come , I just could not imagine receiving a small creature with love, then returning it at an indefinite time. It would have torn my heart. So I informed myself and brought the issue of adoption into play. Mrs. Merkel came at the same time and distributed the “marriage for all”.
We wanted to adopt, but there was no child for us
, many conversations at the youth welfare office and a seminar, where we met some really great people.
The talks at the office were not always nice, we had to tell things that we had with ours would not discuss with your closest friends or parents. Often, the content was not exactly tailored to a gay couple. So the question actually came to what the child would say to Mama.
All finished, we sat there now, examined adoption candidates with almost no prospect of a child. The probability was against us, in our district there are simply too few infants, which are released for adoption.
Many children look for foster parents
But … we also learned a lot about care during the whole process. If there are a few adoption children, then there are more foster children looking for a foster family – their alternative is usually only the children's home.
We had also learned that the children who per Court decision taken from their families of origin, in our county first go into a nursing care before they are taught to permanent care families. At the time of on-call care, it should be checked what the probability is that the mother will catch up again, there will be a father, grandmother, grandfather or other family members who can take care of the child.
This process should take a few months, unfortunately, the future foster children are now too long in the families on standby. Every month, every week longer means a greater attachment to the on-call nurse or father.
At the same time, this process of long-term care, which we wanted to become, provides greater security. The likelihood that the child will be returned from this is much smaller than without the process of on-call care. The child can finally arrive, gets a safe home, a lot of love and a secure and stable future.
Christian said on the phone: “We will be dads”
Armed with all this information, we now went through the foster family process. This was much easier for us than the adoption process. After all, we already knew what to expect. All the questions, the catalog, the seminar, somehow it was almost fun to face the whole thing.
We finished the process and were suddenly checked, future foster parents. And then everything went very fast!
A few days later, my husband got a call from the youth welfare office, there would be a good one-year-old child, who goes into the mediation. He read a report that contained all the things one knew about the child so far. For a brief moment, the world stood still for him. Suddenly he was so close, the moment we had worked so long. I was at a seminar () miles away from home. He called me with the words “We are daddy.”
The old life should be over, nothing was the same as before.
Meet a child.
A few days later we were sitting at the youth welfare office and the maternity nurse entered the room. We were so excited, so much unknown was before us. She looked us up and down and smiled. It was a very strange and somehow nice moment. We learned that Luke – that is our foster son – had traveled with her a lot, an open, curious and loving child. That he finds men particularly interesting and loves biscuits .
The meeting was warm and characterized by a lot of curiosity. And then came the moment … we walked along the long corridor of the youth welfare office to the play room, in which Luke waited with a caregiver. The door opened and he was sitting on the floor, munching biscuits and looking in the direction of the door with big dirty eyes. And then it happened, he looked at us, started to radiate and laugh for a second. It was as if everything should be so!
Today we are a normal family ❤️
That is now almost a year ago , Lukas lives with us since ten months. We lead the normal life of a small family. He developed incredibly well and settled in with us. He wraps everyone around and is such a happy, curious child.
We've stumbled a lot in the past few months, especially about ourselves. Discarded perfectionism, attitudes We have developed a new education, survived the first teething problems and resigned ourselves to the fact that there are no perfectly white walls at home.
Our environment is open and curious about us and our family model. As long as that remains and especially Lukas is so integrated, we are sure that we can give him a wonderful start to a great life.
share her life with a foster child!
No matter if mom and dad, dad and dad, mom and mum or whatever constellation. The little creatures are all about getting a hand that accompanies them through life, and above all, a lot of love, no matter who.
Family means hold, family means love , Family is diverse, but family is especially colorful!
(*) ), Papi Christian (41), foster son Lukas (2) and Labrador Anton are a happy rainbow family. Bjoern produces television programs, Christian is the chief flight attendant. Lukas has been turning her life upside down for ten months
Their experiences share the two on their Instagram profile @ papaundpapi – and on the YouTube channel of “() “. Every Wednesday you'll find parents like us here in the great series “(*) a new video of the two. If you do not want to miss anything, just subscribe to the channel!