May I introduce myself? My name is Katrin, I am 30 years old and I am pregnant for the first time. The closer the birth date, the more relaxed I am to the mum’s face. Why this does not have to be a contradiction.
Once you have a child, your life will never be the same again. With this idea one should at best befriend oneself before the realization of the wish for a child. After that it is too late.
Now I was fortunate enough to act as a spectator when my friends, acquaintances and relatives had children. So, about five years ago, I held the first baby in my arms. At that time sitting very carefully on the couch because I was afraid to drop it or break it. When the little boy was so in my arms, my maternal instincts were running at full speed – at least until he started to cry and I quickly handed him to his mom – with the helpless words, “Oh, here … your child.”
How does a baby work?
I had no idea how to get a baby to work properly. These small, speechless beings seemed to me like tiny aliens to whom I was powerless. Would I ever be able to handle such a species?
The years went by, I met the man I’m sure will make a good dad, and I got pregnant. Between the feelings of anticipation, frightening thoughts popped out again and again: what will life be like with a baby? How will I know what to do? And anyway: How does a baby like that?
I am a quite freedom-loving person. I like being alone, relaxing while reading or taking a walk with my dogs, travels like. Will all this be possible with a baby? Will I even lose my own life through the role of mother?
Will I lose myself in the mother role?
I observed every mother I knew. In the interviews, I quickly found out that each of them really did find their own way to reserve their baby a place in their lives. While one hardly leaves her child alone for a minute, the other one is happy about every girl meeting, where she can accommodate her offspring with her relatives. The third relies on an extra nanny, the fourth on a 50/50 time split with her husband.
The same is true for breastfeeding: one breastfeed for two years, the other breastfeeding after six months, others had to natural reasons (because they did not produce enough milk), others pump off for professional and / or emancipated reasons and the Milk feeding sometimes left to your partner.
No matter how you do it, you’re doing it the wrong way
I do not dare to judge what is right and wrong. What I know is: No matter how you do it, it works! Instead of making me crazy with different methods of education, one day I decided to trust myself as a woman. I will find the right way to integrate my baby into my life.
The more mothers I have spoken, the more relaxed I became. Instead of me from the numerous – sometimes contradictory! – To make mum’s methods insecure, I have decided to trust the natural instincts of mothers: they know best what’s best for their baby.
A baby is like a surprise egg
Every child is different. How one’s own will be, one learns only after birth. It’s kind of a surprise egg. Will it be a writing baby or a deeply relaxed sleeper? Will it be whining and affectionate or would you like to occupy yourself alone? Will it be easy to get used to other people or be fixated on mom and dad?
Of course you can ponder yourself to death and have an emergency solution ready for each case. So I’m not completely immune to potential fantasies. However, the fact is that the phrase ” Try it” is about studying, especially for parenting. As a pregnant woman, you have basically only two options: To go crazy with worries or to let everything come to you.
Switch back to gear for mum questions
My current plan can be summarized as follows: I take my baby as it comes. And it will be perfect no matter how it gets. I will be able to be a mom – after all, the most natural thing in the world is to squeeze and raise a baby. It was like that millions of years ago and it will stay that way for a long time.
I am convinced that any uncertainty about whether to give birth to a good mom or not is a product of the flood of information. The more we know, the more we get irritated. Maybe we should just go back in a mommy questions but a gear back and listen less to our heads and more to the heart, the intuition – and follow the signals that our baby sends us.
As a mom, you can hardly do anything wrong
Every healthy woman is capable of bringing children into the world, raising them and making them capable and viable creatures. All we need is an open heart and a lot of attention for the little creature that was created.
I am grateful to all my friends for every conversation about Mama’s life. The variety of functional methods has shown me that you can hardly do anything wrong as a mom. The best proof of this is the toddlers and babies who did not break any of them. So, dear pregnant women: do not be afraid!