Some marriages are programmed to fail – of which Ines Daun is convinced. The divorce lawyer knows when the signs are off. And in which situation participants drop their masks.
“When I walk the city this weekend and an endlessly honking motorcade drives past me – richly decorated with a gigantic floral arrangement, the wedding couple’s car, followed by countless freshly washed cars with little white flags on each antenna – I think always: great! clientele! “
When Ines Daun says clientele, she means: willing to marry yet to be married. Daun is a lawyer. Specifically divorce lawyer. And she is by no means cynical (well, a little bit maybe). In the 23 years since Daun founded her own law firm in 1995, the lawyer has seen many marriages diverge. Now she is convinced: she recognizes when a couple is well-ordered – and when less. A sure sign according to Daun: the marriage.
The cheaper the wedding, the longer the marriage
An opulent celebration, for example, is not a huge proof of love – but rather the first step into the off. “Researchers have found that marriages last longer when the wedding was favorable,” writes Daun in her guide, “Lieber lange leben”. Their explanation for this phenomenon: Whoever makes too much fuss about the celebration, does not focus on what really matters in a wedding – the love.
“For me, the way weddings are celebrated suits the way marriages are conducted later – often missing the real need,” says Daun. Her tip: instead of miserably over brooding over place cards or flower bouquets, bride and groom couples should rather go out together. In a trip together, for example, the money is better invested than in efforts to impress the guests.
In the marriage contract, the masks fall
On the other hand, fiancée Daun’s experience does not give much weight to the marriage contract. Especially women are afraid of it: “Because they do not want to scare the man, but also because they do not want to destroy the great illusion of endless and boundless love.” A fair, balanced marriage contract offers many benefits not only from a legal perspective. According to experience, according to Daun less marriages are divorced!
And that’s not because those involved in the insurmountable rules stumble. On the contrary. By contract negotiations (if they are successful) understood in particular marriage men , which risk their women take – namely, if they reduce their employment for the purpose of raising children or household and thus reduce their pension. Consequence, so the lawyer: “understanding, respect and respect for the performance of her wife.”
Another plus: At the latest, if not only rosy topics are on the agenda, getting married know their partner again from another side. Then “everyone involved guarantees to drop his mask and show his true face” .
The plea of divorce lawyer therefore: “A marriage must always be a marriage of convenience.” Probably not entirely wrong – at least, if you want to be long and happy. 💜
Ines Daun, born in 1966, is a specialist lawyer for family law. In 1995 she founded her own law firm; Since then, she has experienced all sorts of client separations. She talks about her experiences in a book – and gives women tips on choosing a partner. Daun is married for the second time.
“Dear love long” will be published on June 7, 2018 at Eden Books. 16,95 Euro, ISBN: 978-3-95910-155-4.