“Do not condemn so quickly”: What mothers mean when they say they are tired

May I say it as a mother, when I feel exhausted and overwhelmed by my life with a child? On this topic, the American midwife and mother of two Charity Beth has published an emotional text on Facebook.

In an emotional post on Facebook , American midwife and mother-of-two Charity Beth reveal how strong the pressure is on many mothers. And how little it helps if they are condemned from the outside, if they dare to say that they are tired of all the stress .

Do not condemn so quickly, and certainly not women, who put off their own lives every day and always to give everything to a little creature they know is much more important than themselves. – Charity Beth

Because many mothers know this experience. As soon as they reveal how much they sometimes suffer from the daily burdens of their lives with children, that, for example, they just ate noodles for dinner last night, or that they shouted at their child the other day, they are looked at awry, sometimes even stamped as a bad mother. “You wanted it so, why are you lamenting now?” then floats in the air, sometimes it is also icy cold pronounced.

When, a few years ago, a study revealed that there are mothers who regret their decision to have children, there was a heated debate on # regrettingmotherhood . The central question of the study was: ” If you could turn back time, would you become a mother again, with the knowledge you have today?

But even if some women at that time revealed that the particular circumstances of living with children have led them to regret their decision to become mothers, the vast majority of women still say that despite all their efforts, they are always in favor of her Life with child would decide.

Do not always have to pretend that everything is okay

Of course, living with children can be exhausting. Little sleep, a lot of stress, hardly any time for themselves, great social expectations and the difficult balance of job, family and social life. But no matter how strong the burdens are as a mother, for the vast majority of mothers, the following applies: They love their children with all their hearts and would not want to change their life as a mother for the world. But they also want to be able to make mistakes without being directly criticized, and to say it if this life as a mother exhausted them, WITHOUT being condemned for the same.

Charity Beth expresses all of this in her text – and how much she speaks to so many mothers from the soul, the overwhelming reactions to the post show. More than a million times her text has been shared:

When a mother says she’s tired, that’s all she meant! She did not say she wants to drop her son and forget that …

Posted by Charity Beth on Wednesday, January 16, 2019

If a mother says she is tired, that’s all she means, she did not say she wants to drop her son and forget that he exists.

If a mother says she wants some time alone, just her, that’s all she means! She does not say that she regrets being a mother, and that motherhood is a mistake in her life.

When a mother says she needs help to get things done, she means it! She does not say she is incompetent.

When a mother makes pasta for dinner, it does not mean that she makes noodles every day of the week and that her son / daughter is a child who knows no vegetables and meat.

When you come to a mother’s house and face chaos, that does not mean that this house is chaotic every day.

If a mother says that she would like to go out with her friends, that’s all she means! She does not want to be “single / no mother” again and enjoy it as if she has no responsibility. If a mother says she is worried and anxious, that’s exactly what she means! She did not say she failed and certainly not that she is a coward.

If you hear a mother’s voice, it does not mean she’s just screaming, she’s probably spoken 300 times in normal tone.

If you see a nervous mother who is on the verge of madness, that does not mean that she is in this situation every day.

There is a context, an overall situation. “

Finally, Charity Beth appeals:

Do not condemn so quickly, and certainly not women, who put off their own lives every day and always to give everything to a little creature they know is much more important than themselves.

There is no one in the world who gives up so much and gives as much as a mother. And she deserves a lot of understanding and less condemnation.

An appeal that we would like to join. Let us all treat each other more leniently. Let’s be less critical and hasty with harsh thoughts. Let us stick together and strengthen each other.

Videotipp: Homebirth: This mother gives birth to her baby in her old nursery ❤️

Hausgeburt: Diese Mutter kehrte in ihr Kinderzimmer zurück, um ihr Baby zu bekommen

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