Foreign Adoption: The beginning of a year-long war of nerves

Aysha and Andreas can not have children. You decide on a foreign adoption – the beginning of a years-long war of nerves.

The beginning of a long journey Andreas is a great Bavarian, a rock in the surf, the man who always has a solution for everything. Literally. He works in technical support. Aysha is a Plant Mechanic that with the family, that does not work. At least not naturally, the doctor says. But of course there is always a way for Aysha and Andreas. The first one they try is a 1001. Without success. And so a new idea is born instead of a child: we adopt! (*. 1017

She submit their salary statements at the Office. You are doing health test. They do tests that are supposed to prove their basic suitability as parents. They do all the prescribed courses. And they have their flat inspected. Others would be annoyed. Aysha and Andreas are thrilled that the office is paying close attention. And of course they pass all exams. Now it is official: The two would be great parents!

You are on the adoption list. At the end. From those ahead, they learn that their odds are close to zero. In Germany, there is a long list of adoptive parents and a very short adoptive children. Most parents will eventually fall out of the system because of (*) is considered too old. Aysha will stay another year. 7543 Then they get Leah – from an orphanage in Morocco 8000 She's on the phone with her mother. She lives in Morocco. Not far from an orphanage. Unlike Germany there are many children without a home there. Some have a traumatic history, others are delivered right after birth. And all have a life of stigma and lack of opportunities. “Should I ask you?” Says the mother, and Andreas thinks: great idea. Fortunately, Aysha has dual citizenship. She hopes it will make things easier. 1015 They will never forget the day they become parents. The orphanage is calling. A mother has given birth to a newborn. They scream with happiness. Take a vacation, fly away. Of course there is a lot of paperwork. And it's important to them to meet the girl's mother, to find out from her that she really does not want it. They have heard that sometimes the misery of their biological parents is exploited to help adopt couples from abroad. But everything is correct: in the end it is indeed Ayshas and Andreas' little girl. Your Lea. Her daughter. You have that in writing. 1500 The bureaucracy puts an infinite number of obstacles in the way of the family 27295 Fortunately, Aysha's mother has enough space for her to accommodate the small family. Aysha stays first with her daughter in Morocco. Andreas meanwhile drives back to Bavaria. How long can it take to get home together? This is in summer 65. At the turn of the year, the papers are almost complete. In Bavaria there is now a children's room waiting for Lea. 1500 But then Morocco joins the “Hague Convention on the Protection of Children”, KSÜ for short, and Aysha and Andreas hear the sentence: “According to KSÜ, the procedure is not correct.” That sounds undramatic. All papers are already available. But there is another bureaucratic process, and the agreement is new to all sides. Actually, nobody really knows.

271733878 The German side proposes to put everything back to zero. That means: Lea has to go back home until everything is settled – and that can take years. Aysha and Andreas refuse. They will not relieve their daughter of the security they give her, her grandmother, and her new home. But also Aysha has to go back to Bavaria sometime. She has a job, and the Office requires a regular and responsible lifestyle for her to consent to the adoption. Meanwhile Leah stays with her grandmother in Morocco. For one week a month Andreas flies to Lea, for a week Aysha. Andreas finally sets up his own business because “no employer does that”. And, of course, they must continue to maintain stability in all that. Financial and personal, because it depends on whether they are allowed to keep Lea at all. A crazy time. But how long can this work? A year? Two three?

Lea fight takes eight years 1018 It will be eight. Eight years in which offices do not vote properly, in which German officials have different interpretations than their Moroccan colleagues. Eight years commute. Eight years of letters to members of parliament and petitions. Even the Moroccan Minister of Justice intervenes. the little one cried and begged us to take her with us. Sometimes she did not eat for days. How should one explain such a thing to a small child? fast. Why is there a sudden decision of the authorities? Aysha and Andreas do not know, they do not really dare to ask, but they just want to get their daughter in as quickly as possible. becomes easier, from an environment that should never be home. Tears again. Again loss. Again doubts whether there will be a reunion. Then finally arriving in a home that has been waiting for her for so long. Is that the happy ending? Happy already. And that's the main thing.


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Aysha, Andreas and Lea are now a real family. The parents are still worried that their childhood has left their mark on insecurity, but the start of their shared life is going well. “Lea is the boss,” says Andreas and laughs. 18930 He's in contact with authorities again. This time it's about Leas naturalization. He will promote this in parallel with the adoption. Because still are the two only foster parents. Lea's first visa had only three months to run. Now she is already on her second, which goes over a year. After that, one would come over three years. But Andreas finally wants security for himself and his family. If all goes well, Lea is German in one year. She already has the same surname as her parents. Friends too. And neighbors who like them. She gets along so well at school that she leaves the extra class with special German lessons in the fall and can go to a normal third. 11568712 Only the grandma is missing sometimes. And the girlfriends in Morocco. That's why Lea spends her first German school holidays where she used to live: with her grandmother. Mom is there. Dad only on the phone. And when she asked him when she could finally go home, because it was getting boring, Andreas exhaled firmly and relieved. 8388608

271733878 Adoption: How a child gets new parents 1014

Adults are bound to long runs. Adopt couples and individuals - minimum age is () years, upwards there is no official limit, but the federal working group of the state youth welfare offices recommends an age difference between adoptive parents and child of no more than 50 years ago. 1014

(*. If the parents organize an adoption on their own and without an agency abroad, this has to be subsequently recognized in Germany by the youth welfare office, which can be associated with risks. The Federal Central Office for Foreign Adoption therefore advises against (more information on 1016 ). Modified by the editors 884 Would you like to read more about the topic and talk about it with other women? Then look in the "Kinderwunsch und Babyjahre - Forum" 1001 BRIGITTE community over!

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