Divorce lawyer James J. Sexton reveals his five best tips for keeping your love – instead of ending up in the office of a divorce lawyer.
To keep the love alive for many years, God knows, is not easy. It is not surprising that some couples who have promised eternal love one day unfortunately end up in the office of a divorce lawyer.
One of these lawyers is divorce lawyer James J. Sexton . He has seen more than 1000 marriages fail during his career. But even though he has experienced so much disappointment and sadness at the end of a marriage, he has not lost the faith that it can manage to sustain love for a long time.
That is why he has brought together all his experience as a divorce lawyer in a book, it says, ” When you stand in my office, it’s already too late ” ( “If you’re in my office, it’s already too late”). In it he reveals his best tips for a happy marriage.
Although he has no psychological training, the divorce lawyer explains ” star “. However, he has a lot of experience from his job:
I have had many opportunities to closely observe what is the opposite of a happy marriage. I’ve seen what makes people move away from each other and lose their love.
These are his five tips to help a marriage not end up in the office of a divorce lawyer:
1: Support rather than criticize
It is undoubtedly one of James J. Sexton’s most important tips: if you want a happy marriage, you should support and inspire your partner with all your heart and good will. Everybody in the world needs someone to build it, especially because we’re exposed to criticism and countless advertisements every day that aim to make us feel that there is something inadequate for us to buy any products or services. That’s why it’s so important to build your partner, instead of undermining his self-esteem with nagging and criticism. James J. Sexton is quite pragmatic: if there’s nothing great to celebrate, then it’s best to focus on the little things in everyday life that are good for your heart-soul.
2: Do not wait for everything from the partner
No one can fulfill ALL his partner’s needs. Would be nice, but honestly – does not work. Those who expect their husbands or wives to fulfill all their needs on a permanent basis are likely to go nowhere. Sexton actually finds it “crazy” to reject the respective partner just because he or she is not the ideal person in some areas. His tip:
“Resist the temptation to focus your energy on how your spouse” disappointed “you by not meeting 100 percent of your needs in 100 percent of the time.
Maybe the spouse is a supportive listener, a good parent, and a trusted financial partner, but not the most exciting lover – that’s what you should settle for, Sexton said, and focus on what the partner does well, rather than always focus, which makes dissatisfied. There will never be 100 percent satisfaction, according to the divorce lawyer, so a partner who “fulfills many of your needs is a great asset in life.”
3: Fairness instead of equality
One of the most dangerous poisons for a relationship is the mutual accounting. Typical thoughts: who did how much and when? Does the partner do as much as you do yourself? Or: Does my partner give up as much as I do? Divorce lawyer Sexton is certain: "Marriages ending in my office have begun to charge each other up, and both fell into the trap:" Why should I let my spouse spend a night with friends when I have not been to bed for a long time? According to his experience, this path leads quite reliably to his office, and it would be better to recognize and compensate each other's weaknesses and strengths, and thus to master the challenges of life together.
4: Do not give up sex
Undoubtedly: It can be hard to sustain the erotic attraction in a marriage over many years. However, working for the partner to stay sexually attractive and to discover the partner again and again, is very important, so the divorce lawyer. Because when sex is lost in a marriage, the likelihood of an affair increases. The lawyer's pragmatic statement: "To put it bluntly: Eat what the restaurant serves you today - even if the menu has changed or is perhaps not as exciting as it used to be - the alternative is not starvation is another restaurant and that leads straight to my office. "
5: Be aware of what a divorce means
Who is very dissatisfied with his partner, so Sexton, incline to sometimes wallow in Rose War fantasies. Instead, so his advice, one should deliberately make aware of what it could be like to live in divorce or divorced. What could life be like after the breakup? Sexton compares this awareness with the experience of a disease. Especially in the face of death, we often realize how precious our lives are. " We tend to be more careful when we are aware of the fact that they are fragile. " Even though our partner has promised us eternal love, it is not eternally guaranteed if we do not appreciate it and treat accordingly.
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