May I introduce myself? My name is Katrin, I am 30 years old and pregnant. I just know my partner for a three-and-a-half year. The pregnancy shows me who he really is – in a quick run.
A pregnancy is regarded as an exceptional situation in life. What are nine, ten months in relation to, say, 80 years of life? Just. Not much. But these 40 weeks are an even more intense experience.
As you know, every pregnancy is different. But what they all have in common is the unique experience itself: Life grows in you, your hormones play crazy, your body is beyond your control. Sometimes you do not recognize yourself because your body – or your mood – sets you new boundaries.
Your pregnancy reveals more about your partner than you can dream
The change is not only noticeable to you, but also to others. Especially for those closest to you who spend most of their time with you – which is often first and foremost the partner. How he reacts, how he handles pregnancy usually reveals more about him than you can dream. In fact, it is often during pregnancy that a woman experiences how her partner reacts to situations he will never experience firsthand. Is he empathetic or uncomprehending? Does he react annoyed or lovingly? Is he worried or is he struggling with uncertainty?
The longer the relationship lasts before the pregnancy, the more opportunities the common life offers to get to know each other. For me, however, there are other circumstances: I knew my partner just three months before we decided to give birth to a baby. Risky? Perhaps. But for me was the desire to have children in the foreground ( as I have already reported: Why I do not make my wish for a child dependent on a man ), not the relationship.
You get to know your husband in a life situation that is not for everyone
Now I’m pregnant in the third trimester and I know the man by my side probably in the ultimate way, in a life situation that is not for everyone.
Men often take longer to get used to the idea of becoming a father. For some, fear rather than confidence dominates – they become passive onlookers as their partner’s belly grows. Some men can not take the whims of their pregnant wife seriously, while others do not care that they are no longer at the center of their partner’s life. And then there are those who can not do anything with the woman’s physical change and withdraw sexually.
Presumably, this is somehow natural and can be discussed in a trusting, stable relationship. But at least it is just as nice when a pregnant woman has nothing left to discuss, but it just works because the man turns out to be the right one.
Little things that mean the world to me as pregnant women
For which I am grateful to my partner, are the little things that mean to me as a pregnant woman the world.
He almost notices it when I’m not feeling well. He takes the housework from me, makes me tea and if necessary, the one or the other hot water bottle.
He asks me basically what I want to eat and fits in even if he considers my cravings questionable.
When I feel uncomfortable, he hugs me and asks what he can do for me, no matter where we are. He wears my (often heavy) handbag when I can not carry it anymore, and accompanies me to all possible monthly gynecologist appointments.
He sings to our baby in the belly and caresses me to sleep when I’m exhausted. He compliments me and makes me even more attractive when I shy away from the kilos.
If we schedule an activity but get tired, we throw the plans overboard and take a nap. He listens to me and is there for me when I need him, taking care of my dogs when I have a low energy day.
He makes me laugh when I’m sad and is with me when I want to cuddle. When I sleep in his arms while he is uncomfortable, he does not wake me up. Not even when I snore.
Is he the right one for you?
In other words, it shows me every day anew that he is the right person for me. That I can rely on him, whatever happens.
Maybe these are all things that should be normal in a relationship, a partnership. But I know from conversations with other mothers that it is not so. That there are still men who release themselves during pregnancy, leaving this phase to their own wife.
There are always situations in life that show you whether the man by your side is the right person for you. These can be strokes of fate, relationship crises, a stressful everyday life – or just a pregnancy. Pulling on the same strand, pursuing the same goal, mutual support is the foundation upon which to build a common future.