Luckily, the days are over when women have to accept their husband’s last name! But how do men like that? Some have commented on “Whisper”.
In Germany, women have officially had the choice since 1991: do they accept the surname of their husband after the wedding? Do you keep your own? Do you decide for a double name? Can you convince her husband to take her name?
Of course that’s shocking in the first place: only since 1991 !!! Women celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary in 2021 were not asked which name they wanted to wear – they just got their husband’s Schulze stamped on their face! Of course, nothing speaks against Schulze or against accepting the name of the man – a good 70 percent of the brides still do that. But what does not work is not to give the woman the choice .
Luckily, that’s different today! At least officially. Because as husbands find it, when their wife does not take their name, and whether some may put pressure on their friend to do it, we do not know. It is all the more interesting that on the anonymous confessional platform ” Whisper ” many men have commented on this topic. Of course, their voices are unrepresentative – but at least they show that the surname is a busy one and that not all are as liberal as our law.
Men confess how they find it when wives keep their maiden name
1. suffering should be spared her
“I did not want my wife to accept my name – I hate him myself.”
2. Marriage luck does not depend on the name
“We never made a big deal out of keeping my wife’s name, we’ve been married for 15 years now and have cute twin boys, but everyone has their own opinion …”
3. Honest opinion is embarrassing (editor’s note: after all!)
“I am very sad that my wife did not accept a name, the bad thing is that I can not tell her without sounding like a complete idiot …”
4. Too expensive
“We found the hassle of changing a name just too big, all the paperwork and stuff, but I’m often stupid because I did not get my wife to accept my name, miserable if you ask me.”
5. After all, you knew in time
“I find it stupid that my wife did not accept my name, but at least she made it clear from the start that she would not, and for me it was not a reason for separation, at least make sure your partner knows. “
6. Name brings bad karma anyway
“I do not want my wife to take my name, he has a dark story and I want to finish it.”
“It hurts me that my wife did not accept my name, not so much because of tradition, but because of the symbolic meaning that man and woman become one.”
8. Woman is not a possession
“My wife is not a property that needs to be named after the owner.”
“For me it has always been an absolute deal breaker if a woman does not accept the man’s name, now my fiancé has told me she wants to keep her name and I do not know what to do.”
10. Would be funny
“It does not bother me that my wife did not accept my name, on the contrary, I find it strange to adopt someone else’s name.”
“My wife kept her name and that was exactly the right decision: Someone abused her identity but used my last name, which made it very easy to find out.”
12. Just does not fit
“I asked my wife herself to keep her maiden name, her first name and surname rhyme with each other, and it would sound like a breakdown, her name would be mine.”
13. Tradition has its reason
“I would not marry if my wife did not agree to accept my name, I just believe in tradition.”
14. Causes uncertainty
“Because my wife did not accept my name, I feel she is not in our marriage.”
15. Do not have to be …
“Is it weird that I DO NOT want my wife to take my name? It would be kind of uncomfortable for me if she did …”
16. No discussion
“When I marry, my wife will take my name, and my sons will bear my middle name, which is a tradition.”
17. Divorce reason …?
“My wife refuses to accept my name, even though she’s been promising it to me for six years, I’m completely exhausted, and I even consider divorcing her for it.”
Our conclusion: The best time to have an open, clarifying conversation with the partner, then at least there are no nasty surprises on the registry office. And who loves himself, will certainly agree!
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