Why does not she want to spend her time with her children on grooming ornaments for the perfect appearance, this mom tells in an emotional Facebook post.
Some parents get it by magic, that their home always looks perfectly and nicely cleaned – at least, if visit is there. It’s nice, but probably pretty exhausting. Does a household with children always have to look perfect?
No, thinks Whitney Ballard from the Trains and Tantrum blog . How she managed to say goodbye to her desire for perfection, she tells here:
Whitney Ballard: “This constant state of anxiety is not for me”
” I like it when my house is a little bumpy. […] Today I cleaned my house, I mean deep cleansed – the shower, the walls, the floor, it means that it would help to keep the balance and a space for And I feel that too – everything smells good and, more importantly, looks good.
But after this cleaning day I feel empty. Because I did not come to the baseboards, forgot the doors and windows. It’s just never enough.
That drops me into a hole and reminds me why I got used to a little mess. This constant state of anxiety is not for me.
May I play with it? – no. I just wiped the floor.
Can I have that? – no. I just cleaned the table.
It’s a constant state of: your shoes get dirty / we can not do that / I just cleaned up / you will not do that in my house.
I think that maybe other mothers have found the right middle ground. Maybe other mothers have perfected the balance that exists between clean surfaces in homes and happy children . Honestly, I think it’s a myth.
And that’s why I’ve learned to let go of perfection – the unrealistic goal of spending time with my children and being a household feast, the expectation that everything must always be in place, or the laundry.
Does everyone have a clean sheet and an outfit for tomorrow? Then it is enough.
Do you want to see my house shiny? Then come back at 10pm when the kids are sleeping.
I understand that I am an adult and sometimes we have to do things that we do not want to do. And sometimes I pushed the cleaning too far ahead of me and took a whole day to catch up.
If I fail in one thing, I'd prefer it to be the house rather than my relationships with my family and God.
And if the worst thing that's said about me is, 'She never has a clean house!', Then I'm fine.
I do not count the toys that I climb on the way to the door, nor can I say how much more laundry I have to do while playing in the garden.
It's okay for a clean house to make some hearts sing and for many to be a kind of therapy, but that's not me.
This does not mean that I do not spend my time doing meaningful things and it does not mean that I am less mother or wife than others because I only clean as much as necessary.
The fact is, you would not want to eat from my bottom, although my kids did that more than once, but you could certainly feel relaxed in my home .
The best days are those when I'm so tired and filled at the end of the day that I throw a load of clothes into the washing machine, a little sweeping here and there, but then decide that the dust will still be there tomorrow.
It does not look all right, but I promise you, it's all good!
At a time when my life is a mess, why should not my house be chaotic? "
We think: she is right! Whether with or without children - there is something more important than a perfectly clean home. Do you also see it like that?
Thank you, dear Whitney, for sharing your words here!