Self-doubt? Welcome to the club! We’ll tell you how to build confidence and make your doubts stop blocking you!
Self-doubt are indeed the most normal and most human in the world. But when they get out of hand and get out of hand, they can make life difficult for us – and destroy our self-esteem!
We should distinguish between healthy self-doubts that serve to adjust our perspective on ourselves and the world (see our article for examples). And unhealthy self-doubt like the following:
- I can not do that anyway …
- What am I supposed to do in the world?
- Why am I never doing something right?
- Could not I have done better?
- Am I too stupid for that?
- Surely he does not like me!
- Do I deserve such a nice partner?
- Who would hire me?
- Can I really ask for so much salary for my services?
Such self-doubt is primarily annoying thoughts that lead nowhere and bring nothing more than insecurity, a bad feeling and dissatisfaction . They inhibit and hinder our lives and new experiences . Therefore, we should shake them off and overcome them as quickly as possible, before they settle in our heads.
Self doubt: 5 tips to shake it off
Although it always sounds a bit like running away and avoiding problems, distraction is and remains the simplest remedy for pondering. You doubt about yourself, your kindness and your existence and just can not find answers that will calm you down? Then give it up for now and …
- Instead, make clear ship in the attic,
- clean your bike ,
- go jogging (or logging ?),
- back a strawberry cake or
- finally plan your next vacation.
As a rule, such distraction not only stops the spiraling thoughts of fear and doubt, but also gives you a good feeling, strength, at least a spark of self-confidence – or at least a piece of delicious strawberry cake.
2. Face the facts
Do you particularly doubt your own abilities and think you are useless? Or do you think you are rather ugly and totally unattractive? Whatever it is that causes you the greatest self-doubt, deliberately deal with it and put clearly your limits .
- Something you are guaranteed to be good. What are your strengths? Endurance? Generosity? To listen? Keep them in mind (and in the ideal case maybe even prove them yourself – for example, by listening attentively 😉).
- Then turn to your weaknesses and mistakes and try to make peace with them ! Maybe you’ve learned something from some mistakes, maybe some weaknesses have made you develop or develop a strength for it.
No one is perfect and our stigma is what makes us. Besides: Except you and a maximum of one or two people in your immediate environment (if any), it does not bother anyone how you look or that you do some things wrong. As bad as it seems, it can not be honest!
3. Doubts self-doubt
If you are already brooding and doubting, you can ask a few negative thoughts of yourself . But not necessarily on their correctness – it does not really matter anyway – but on their meaning!
- What good is it to doubt you?
- How are you doing better?
- And who cares that you break your head?
- Are you doing anyone a favor? (If not, you can do it just as well …)
On the other hand: Do not you also think that you could achieve much more, would you sometimes think positive thoughts instead of negative ones ? Would you not be more pleasing to the others if you walked the world with an honest and heartfelt smile, instead of narrowing your eyebrows? 😊
4. List achievements
What have you achieved in your life? And now please do not say “nothing”, because that’s just not true! At least you have already learned to read and you can probably speak. There you are! Write down your achievements, from the smallest to the most proud of you to date. What do you feel when you remember? That person at that moment – no one else was. That’s exactly you alone!
5. Talk about it
Discuss your self-doubt with another person. A friend, a good friend, your mother or sister. Listen carefully to what she or he says. It is important to know and know that others see you differently than you perceive yourself from your inner perspective. You may (to!) Have high expectations of you. But for others, you alone by being there, make an important and indispensable contribution in their lives .
Admittedly, stable, sustained self-confidence certainly does not grow in a single day, and not by talking to someone or cleaning up your attic. Learning to love oneself and building self-esteem and a healthy sense of self-worth need time, experience, practice and even after years we are (probably) never quite finished. Nevertheless, it is clear: to diverge with one’s own self-doubts and to oppose them (self-assurance!) Is the right decision and a good step . And on the other should like to follow in exactly this direction!