Sex life expandable? Maybe your partner should compliment you more often, especially your looks.
Variety? Experimentation? Special sex positions? The right lubricant? Get up early? Tips for a fulfilling, balanced sex life that is good for both us and our relationship are many (fortunately!) – and most definitely have their justification. However, as one published in the “Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy” study shows a piece of advice belongs necessarily very far up on the list: appreciation!
About 250 women interviewed
Almost 250 women between the ages of 18 and 30 were interviewed for the study, each of them in a committed relationship for at least three months (most in a heterosexual). The women were asked …
- To give information about their own body perception (“do I feel comfortable in my body?”),
- give an assessment of how attractive they are to their partner (“does my sweetheart find me beautiful?”),
- describe and rate their sex life (“How often do I feel like having sex?” “How often do I have an orgasm?” “Am I having pain while having sex?”).
In addition, the participants were asked how happy they feel in their partnership in general.
The nicer for the partner, the better the sex
The analysis of the answers showed a clear tendency: the more positive the respondents rated their partner’s attitude to their body, the better they rated their sex life (or the more they enjoyed having sex with their partner), as well as their relationship in general. The interesting thing here: the certainty that her partner finds her beautiful and attractive, had a greater positive effect on the sex life of the participants than their own body perception .
Although the self-perception tended to correlate with the stated perception of others, the latter allowed much more reliable conclusions about sex life than one’s own attitude towards the body.
So the main thing, the other finds us nice …?
Does that mean it’s more important what our partner thinks about us than what we think about ourselves? No. The researchers suspect that the great importance of the perception of others for our sex quality is related to the fact that we literally draw blank in front of our partner in sexual intercourse and show him from our most vulnerable side. In bed, we give him our 100 percent confidence – and we often do not even have that much left for ourselves.
That’s why it benefits our sex life when our partner makes us honest compliments to our appearance and shows us that he desires us – but scratched is the thing with it yet. After all, it always takes some self-love and self-confidence to accept and accept compliments and to believe other people that they love us. And to make sure that’s what we ourselves are responsible for …