Doubts, musing, sigh: That’s what happens to your ego when you become mom
Mothers do incredible things. But do they make them with more self-confident? One study shows the opposite.
No matter how successful we are in the job or whether we have traveled the world; getting a child is an experience that is unlike anything. Suddenly we have to constantly outgrow ourselves that starts in the delivery room and never stops. And women do it easy. They accept this challenge unconditionally and usually master it grandly.
So you have every reason to be proud of yourself!
But a new study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, shows that they do not. Researchers from the University of Tilburg in the Netherlands have evaluated a long-term observation of almost 85,000 women from Norway.
Many mothers feel useless
The women had to complete questionnaires, and answer the following questions: “I have a positive attitude towards me” or “I sometimes feel completely useless.”
The result: Unfortunately, psychologists have found that women’s self-esteem generally decreases as soon as they become mothers. It starts already in the pregnancy and sinks even further in the first years of the birth.
Whether it then rises again and how the self-perception develops in the birth of other children was not examined in the study.
What can be the reasons for self-doubt?
Researchers led by study leader Manon Van Scheppingen suggests that the multitude of difficult challenges contribute to poor self-esteem.
This starts with the lack of sleep, which (as every mother knows) can be tormenting and affects the mood and well-being.
Relationship problems also appear more often after the birth of a child, there is more disputes about roles, such as in the household – this also makes many women doubt their value.
And then, of course, the social changes, the exit from the job and not to forget the change in the body.
Stop the perfection pressure!
We find that this is an alarming realization. How can it be that women feel “useless” even though they are performing a very important task and raising a new human being?
Something has to change urgently here. Also in our society, in which let’s be honest, mothers already had a higher reputation. Let us all help. We’ll go and tell a mother what a great job she does.