If you’re famous and can afford it, book this woman right after the positive pregnancy test: Connie Simpson, celebrity’s favorite nanny. In late April, she may move in with Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan to rock the Royal Baby. What kind of upbringing Meghan and Harry may expect from Connie Simpson.
Nanny Connie Simpson is the woman who trusts women: a big, round, unshakable love and God-trusting black mid-fifties who calls herself “the proud South-grown plant” of the US, where she experiences “compassion, love and patience in excess “absorbed with breast milk.
Nanny Connie, help!
Simpson became famous as the “Baby Whisperer” (including Instagram and Facebook presence) for helping kids like George and Amal Clooney, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski, and Brooke Shields and Jessica Alba with husbands to swing. Soon, on the recommendation of the Clooneys, she will move to the British royal family to be responsible for the royal offspring of Meghan and Prince Harry.
Your secret of success? Well, Nanny Connie actually seems to disprove the old adage that love can not be bought: in “her” family, she is considered the most indispensable member on time. She is warm, full of mother-wit, compassion and warmth for babies AND their newborn moms whom she likes to call ” my sweet baby “, no matter how rich or famous they are – like Brooke Shields or Jessica Alba. Nanny Connie seems to have seen everything before and knows a patente solution for it. Some of this may not be up to the latest demands of pedagogy, but it seems to work.
For all of us who can not afford such a wonderful service, there is their accumulated wisdom from thirty years of motherhood experience as a book (previously in English: ” The Nanny Connie Way: Secrets to Mastering the First Four Months of Parenthood “). , It is interspersed with homage quotations from “her” celebrities, for example Jessica Biel: “She was comfort and support for my husband and me, when, tormented by sleepless nights, we were only zombies of our former selves”.
Connie Simpson is not seduced
The cover picture is pretty good on the shit: On a plump Windelpo emblazoned provocatively ” Have no fear ” – do not be afraid! Ha, to put it bluntly, if you have enough money and space to get your baby into the house with an experienced nurse, who literally takes care of every shit day and night for up to several months. The nice-to-the-new-born father, but hard-hitting, realizes that he will wait in vain or urge to finally get his childless wife back to bed. In addition, Connie Simpson is in every respect the counterpart to the type sweet nanny, who would love to satisfy even the needs of the host, as once with Ethan Hawke or Jude Law.
In summary, one can say that despite all the celebrity drumming, the book is based on precious, long ago, among stacks of guidebooks and concepts lost secret – common sense. With organization, food, hugs, sleep, humor, anti-flatulence, love and belief in God, Nanny Connie solves every problem. Her book is divided into the period of preparation for the birth, birth and puerperium and then the first four months with the baby. Surprise: Here is a need-based education. However, not only according to the needs of the baby, but especially after those of the mother, which in Germany is almost considered as child maltreatment. The first thing Nanny Connie says is ” Put the baby on a schedule “, gets the baby into a rhythm. Establish a schedule and rituals. Breastfeeding mothers advises them to pump milk during the day, so that someone other than the mother can feed the baby at night and sleep through the breastfever.
Simpson feeds her nursing mothers cuddly nests everywhere in the house, where they get rest, music, company and a beer, which, according to Nanny Connie stimulates the milk flow as well as anything else. More good news: Especially when the mother is breastfeeding, she should eat a lot and consume tons of butter and olive oil, plus avocados, nuts, greasy yoghurt and cheese. This is the only way to make their milk fat (very important for the development of the baby brain), full of nutrients and filling for a long time: “Breast milk that is not rich enough brings your baby faster to ready-made food than a fly on a donkey’s back!” Nanny Connie likes to talk about how she had to persuade her celebrity mothers to want to quickly starve their top figure after the birth. Only chocolate is advised against – which is flatulent.
YOU are the parent!
Before Nanny Connie leaves the house and the family again, she wants to teach the parents routine and self-confidence in dealing with the baby and mentally harden them against daily gushing advice. This one should simply be with a polite “Interesting! Thank you!” pass the (baby) ass. “YOU are the parent” is rehabilitated here as chief. No, if you do not want to see a visitor and do not want to wash your hair, your in-laws, uncles, aunts and friends are not allowed to just stop by just to have a look. You do not have to be the radiant actress in the new family movie that instinctively does everything right and stays totally relaxed. Setting limits: No, you CAN NOT touch the baby with your bacteria-contaminated hands. Why? Because I say so!
And that is the most important statement in the book: Every mother must be mothered, comforted, spared, cuddled, massaged and well fed, and, above all, allowed to sleep as carefree as possible. She has given birth to the world, now she has to heal both physically and mentally from pregnancy and childbirth. Nanny Connie is hugging a lot for that, rubbing her mother’s back and massaging her feet. Loving physical contact is vital not only for babies.
It’s not just the mother’s job
Unfortunately, in Germany it is the exceptional case that a baby nurse assists a newborn mother for weeks or months. You hardly get a Nachsorgehebamme whose few home visits are eagerly expected. And instead of a dreamlike privilege, it is more likely to be understood as total surrender and educational oath of disclosure if you seek professional help for the baby. It is generally expected that parents will be proud and happy to guide visitors through the good nursery after one week at the latest. It applies the good faith: The mother instinct will do it already. As with the subject of sex many think, such primeval things as the reproduction would be self-evident only by doing, otherwise mankind would long since become extinct. But biology or not – a baby is not self-explanatory. It’s just totally confusing and incredibly loud, especially at night. That’s why man should definitely do an infant care course. Nanny Connie admonishes all fathers strictly: “Take time to learn to change diapers and to take care of your baby on your own!” That would also be the royal road to the longed-for intimacy with the partner: while he diapers the baby, she should be pampers.